Let’s talk about it…
Linda has spent the last ten years defending her choice of who she chooses to love. She is a thirty-year-old single, openly gay female. She works as a full-time receptionist for a dental office and part-time as a bartender for a local bar. She is five feet nine inches with long legs. She has an hourglass shape and loves to dress very dainty and sexy; yet classy. Linda do not wear her sexuality on her sleeve; neither does she hide from people. Because of her beauty, she is constantly approached by men asking her out on a date or for her phone number. Many of the men take it personal when she tells them that she only date women. Some men go as far to call her names or ask her inappropriate personal questions. Approximately one year ago, someone has been hacking into Linda’s social media accounts posting derogatory things about gay people. Although Linda has closed her social media accounts; she hasn’t been able to clear her name. To remain sane and sound mind, Linda made the decision to counsel with a psychologist who happens to be a member of her grandparents’ church. Because Linda’s part-time evening job is closed on Mondays, she scheduled her counseling sessions for 4:00pm on Mondays.
“Hello Linda, how are you today?” “Hi Dr. Gordon, I am well.” “Have a seat on the couch, I made some notes from our phone consultation and would like to start our session today with a few questions.” “Sounds good Dr. Gordon, I’m open to the process.” “On the phone you stated that you are an openly gay woman.” “Yes, I did state that.” “What is openly gay in your perspective, Linda?” “As an openly gay women, I walk in my truth. I do not wear a sign saying that I am gay. However, whenever a man approaches me for my phone number or ask me out on a date or when one of my female friends tries to fix me up with one of their male friends, I let them know that I only date women because I am gay.” “What type of backlash do you receive when telling someone you are gay?” “Many of my female friends are okay with me stating I am gay. They continued to be my friend without any change in our relationship. There is those handful of female friends who suddenly doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore because; and I quote, “I am uncomfortable being around you” is what they say to me. The men all become very angry with me. Many show their angry by asking me derogatory questions or by making derogatory comments.” “Linda, what do you say to the women who states they are uncomfortable being around you after finding out your sexuality?” “I tell them, “You do not have to worry, I’m not a flirtation woman or a pervert that goes around wanting all women in a sexual way. I have a partner who I am dating. I do not say anything to the men because I fear for my safety when they are boldly making derogatory comments. I now carry pepper spray and have a 22-caliber handgun in my home.” “Linda I can see, you are a very confident intelligent person. I believe I know the answer to my next question; however, I need you to confirm. Why did you choose me to counsel with you?” “You are a man. You are a Christian who goes to my grandparents’ church. And you are a psychologist.” “Thanks for the confirmation, Linda. I felt, after our phone conversation, you are looking to receive insight on how men think from a male perspective. And you are looking to receive biblical insight on why believers are uncomfortable being around a gay person. You feel safe talking to me because of my relationship with your grandparents.” “Yes, Dr. Gordon; you are correct in your observation.” “Linda, a man is his ego and his possession. Seventy percent of how men react to life events is with their ego. The other thirty percent of how men react to life events is possessions based; what they own. If someone say something or do something that stroke the male ego in a possible way, he shows it with a positive respond. When the ego has been bruise, it is met with negativity from the man. No fault of yours; however, the men perceived your reply to him asking for your phone number or to go out on a date with him as a rejection that bruise his ego. Especially when the rejection is subliminal articulated to say, “I don’t like men or you”. Men do not walk around with the same understanding or compassion that women have. Therefore, his only recourse to combat his bruise ego was to hurt the emotional side of you as a female with his derogatory comments.” “Dr. Gordon, how do you think, I should have handled the questions from men without bruising their egos.” “Linda, it’s okay to walk in your truth with confident and without shame. I don’t think you need to share the details of your truth to close minded people. Heterosexual people do not respond to the same questions by saying I am in a relationship with the opposite sex: a male or female. They simply say I am in a relationship. Try using that statement with your next encounter to see how it works for you. You shouldn’t have to walk around in fear carrying pepper spray or sleeping next to a handgun.”
“Dr. Gordon, that explains why the men response to me the way they do; but, what about the women who no longer feels comfortable around me once I tell them I am gay.” “Linda, women are more likely to believe in the principles taught in church, by their parents or grandparents regarding God’s Word or the bible. It doesn’t matter if the women go to church or not. They are more prone to believe in some type of biblical principles; even if they do not fully understand the principle they are following. The discussion of Homosexuality has always been a taboo in the church. The topic is swiftly mentioned whenever the preacher teaches on Sodom and Gomorrah. The preacher normally points out God anger for the type of sin rather than for the sin itself. Which led people to believe there is a hierarchy to the type of sin. People tend to believe they would be destroyed in the same manner as Sodom and Gomorrah if they are among homosexuals. We all have a right to live within our belief. As you stated, there is only a handful of women who no longer wants to be around you once you tell them you are gay. Respect their wishes and continued to live your life as you please. No one must answer to God for someone else sin. Hopefully as these women grow in their relationship with God, so will their understanding in not judging people because they sin differently from how they sin. I’m not personally saying your way of living is a sin. I’m simply saying it not my responsibility to determine if you are living in sin due to your sexuality. I am here to show you Godly love without judgement. This doesn’t mean that I do not fruit inspect a person’s character to see if I want to associate with a person or not. Linda, I hope today’s counseling session has help you.” “Yes Dr. Gordon, you have help me tremendously. I would love to continue our sessions. Okay Linda, I will see you next week at the same time.”
Linda felt so empowered after her first session with Dr. Gordon. She decided to write a song called “Why does it bother you who I love?”
“Why does it bother you who I love? You don’t own the world or have created its inhabitants; can we just all get alone? There is more than enough space to not cross or trample on the path of each other’s beliefs. God created male and female in the image of love; if you feel I have stepped outside of love into darkness, then be a light to guide me back with love. I’m not asking you to follow me or approve my decisions; I am simply saying if your light is shining bright, darkness cannot dominate it. When you verbally or physically attack me for being different; which one of us is walking in darkness? So, I ask again: why does it bother you who I love?”
After two months of weekly counseling, the tools and advise given by Dr. Gordon have been life changing. Linda has noticed a change in people interactions towards her. The derogatory comments or questions from men has stopped. No longer are female friends disassociating themselves from her. When she introduces her partner to people, they are met with warm greetings. Linda realized with the help of Dr. Gordon, that she was receiving an energy from people that she was unbeknown giving to people. Linda has a new song in her heart called love.
“Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud; it is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs; it does not delight in evil; it rejoices with the truth; it always protects; it always trusts; it always hopes; it always perseveres and it never fails. Let the light of love shine within our hearts; so that people would see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.”









