The elaboration of relationship connections

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Judy Owens is a 2025 award winning author who is an avid reader of all genres of books. Her book title “A Thirst That Never Ceases” has won an International Impact Book Award in the category of “Life Experience – Real Life Accounts”. In January 2026 her autobiography titled “The Secret Place: Life Stories of Healing and Hope was published. The books are sold on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Ingram. For more information refer to website: https://bookofrelationship.com
  • Unannounced Pop Ups. WT*!

    Unannounced Pop Ups. WT*!

    Why do people who never let you know where they live or invite you to their home are always popping up at your house unannounced.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Hurry up boys, you are going to be late for practice; shouts Glenda as she gathers the snacks for her sons’ football team. Glenda’s two sons, ages 13 and 15, have been playing football at their local park little league since the ages of five. This year, Glenda was nominated as team mom. She is responsible for bringing refreshments and helping with administration duties. Glenda’s plate was full prior to taking on the responsibilities as team mom. She couldn’t back out of being chosen as team mom because she was the only mom who hadn’t volunteer in the past. Glenda is happy football season is over. She was so tire of her phone ringing none stop because moms never read the written material given to them; yet would call her to ask the same questions. Which days this week is practice? What time does practice start? Do they have any games schedule this month? If so, when; where and what time? Football season is over and Glenda is jumping with joy. She is happy to have her normal busy life back.

    As Glenda was leaving work, she realized she had forgotten to take meat out the freezer for dinner. Oh well, thought Glenda; it’s Friday, I just got paid, I will stop for fast food and a bottle of wine to celebrate the end of football season. When Glenda arrives home, her sons were in their room playing video games. She shouts upstairs to let them know she was home and had picked up dinner. She asked them to wash their hands and set the table while she puts on some comfortable clothes. Just as Glenda and her sons set down to eat, the doorbell rings. She asked her oldest son to answer the door. She thought it was probably one of her son’s friends. To her surprise, it was one of the mothers from her sons’ football team. “Hi JoAnn, is everything okay, asked Glenda.” “Call me Jo; everyone calls me Jo replied JoAnn. Yes, everything is okay. Curtis went to his dad’s house for the weekend, so I thought I would come over to visit.” Oh, okay states Glenda with a confused look on her face. “You also have a daughter, right Jo.” “Yeah, she went on a date with her boyfriend.” “I see, replied Glenda. Well, my sons and I were preparing the table for dinner.” “Don’t let me stop you, I can sit in your living room until you all are finish.” “I tell you what, why don’t you join us for dinner.” “Sure,” shouts Jo, as she takes a seat at the table. Glenda asks her youngest son to escort Jo to the kitchen sink so she can wash her hands. When they returned, Glenda asked Jo if she eats fried chicken, mash potatoes with gravy and steamed broccoli. “Oh yeah, I am a country girl. I love fried food.” After dinner, Jo sat and drank wine with Glenda. The two discussed their kids football season. They sat and talked for three hours after dinner. Glenda was tire from the long work week. Is this lady not going to go home thought Glenda. I don’t want to be rude by telling her to go home. What the heck to I do. Finally, it came to Glenda what to say. “Jo, I am feeling really tire from my long week; so, I am going to go take a bath before going to bed.” “I guess it is getting late; I better go, replied Jo.” After escorting Jo to the door; Glenda thought to herself, what the heck was that all about? I did not know any of the moms knew my address.

    The next day, at exactly 6:00pm, the doorbell rings at Glenda’s home. Glenda was upstairs in her room when she hears her youngest son shouts up the stairs; “mom, Ms. Jo is here.” You got to be kidding me; thought Glenda. “I will be right there, shouts Glenda.” “Hi Jo, did you forget something from last night?” “No. I had such a good time visiting with you, I thought to myself, why not hang out with Glenda again tonight.” “Oh, wow! How thoughtful of you, states Glenda. Well, I was just about to put some burgers, corn-on-cob, and asparagus on the grill for dinner.” “I’m just in time to help, replied Jo.” As Glenda was setting the dinner table, she asked Jo where did she live. “Only a mile from you, replied Jo.” “Where is a mile away? I am asking your exact location.” Jo gave only her cross streets, not her address. Wow! Thought Glenda; is she homeless, or ashamed of where she lives. I don’t understand why she doesn’t want anyone to know exactly where she lives. Glenda decided she would inquire about Jo’s home life after dinner. As the two ladies sat in the backyard sipping on wine after dinner; Glenda asked Jo was she married or have a sufficient other. “I’m not marry, my boyfriend moved in with me and my kids approximately three years ago.” “Does, your boyfriend work nights; asked Glenda.” “No, replied Jo.” “What does he do for a living asked Glenda.” “He works in the automotive industry replied Jo.” “What do you do for a living asked Glenda.” “I work for a hotel.” I don’t understand all the vague replies to my questions. What is this woman hiding and why does she want to hang out at my house; thought Glenda. Once again, Glenda had to tell Jo that she was tire in order to get her to go home.

    The next day was Sunday, Glenda and her sons spent the evening at her parents’ house. Upon arriving home at 8:00pm, she could see on her security camera system that Jo had rang her doorbell at exactly 6:00pm for approximately 15 minutes before leaving. What is this lady problem; thought Glenda. I need to get to the bottom of this. The next morning as Glenda was dropping her sons off at school before heading to work; she tells her boys, from this day forward I need you both to check the security camera before answering the door. If it is Ms. Jo, do not open the door or shout through the door that you have to go get your mother. I need you both to simply ignore the door and I will handle Ms. Jo in private at a time that is convenience for me. Okay, replied Glenda’s son. “What is going on?” Asked Glenda’s oldest son. “I don’t know, but I plan on finding out. Ms. Jo, has been coming to our house every night since Friday at exactly 6:00pm. She doesn’t tell me exactly where she lives. I’m sensing something has to be wrong with her living situation and she is using my house as an escape from her reality. I have to think about you two safety and her actions is causing me to be alarm.” “Mom, I know where Ms. Jo lives;” states Glenda oldest son. “You do!” “Yes, her son Curtis text me the address after inviting me over to play a video game with him. Shortly after texting me his address, he called me to say he couldn’t have any company and he would see me at football practice.” “Forward his address to my phone son.” “Okay mom.” Glenda decided she would wait until Saturday before making an unannounced visit to Jo’s home. Every day prior to Saturday, Jo would come to Glenda’s house at 6:00pm and ring the doorbell for approximately 15 minutes. Sometimes she would go sit in her car for ten minutes then come back and ring the bell again. On Saturday, Glenda got up early to get the day started. After preparing breakfast and doing some light house cleaning and washing clothes; she ran a few errands. Around 3:00pm she drives the 1 mile to Jo’s house. To Glenda’s surprise, Jo has a big beautiful home. Glenda goes to the front door and rings the bell twice after checking out her surroundings. She had bought maze with her; not knowing what she was walking into. Jo’s son Curtis answers the door. “Hello, Ms. Glenda, let me get my mom for you.” Glenda steps inside the door before Curtis could say come in or wait here. Their home was neat and clean. Curtis ran up their stairs to get his mom. He didn’t do what Glenda’s sons do, which is holla up the stairs to let her know when someone was at the door. Jo, came storming down the stairs looking like a she was possessed with the seed of chucky. She did not greet Glenda with hello, a smile, or say welcome to my home. She proceeded to yell at her in a very harsh arrogant tone. “What the hell are you doing at my house unannounced? Are you dense or what? Don’t you know this is the 21st century; people don’t show up at other people home unannounced; especially if they haven’t been invited. Maybe you need to take a course in proper etiquettes. So, get the hell out of my house and do not come back unless you have been invited.” Glenda was speechless, she did not say a word as she left Jo’s home. That same evening at exactly 6:00pm Jo’s rings the doorbell at Glenda’s home. Glenda went to get her maze before answering her door. After opening the door, she asked Jo, what the hell are you doing at my home after the way you talked to me about coming to your house unannounced. “My bad, shouts Jo. I don’t like people coming to my house unannounced.” Then she proceeds to push pass Glenda to come into her house. Glenda shoulder bumped Jo pushing her back from entering her home. “Hell to the No, shouts Glenda. You have the wrong one sister. You do not get to come to my house and receive what you do not give at your home. I suggest if you don’t want a problem with me; get the hell off my property. People like you, have no place in my life and especially not in my home. Do not ever come to my home again shouts Glenda as she slams the door in Jo’s face.” That was the end of the beginning of their friendship.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  •  Your Love! Your Love! Supernatural; Super Spiritual Thing!

     Your Love! Your Love! Supernatural; Super Spiritual Thing!

    Let’s talk about it…

    “Trina! Don’t let me have to call you a third time. Come eat dinner. You know your siblings is waiting on me to turn my back or walk out the room before they pick from your food. So, get your butt in here now!” “Okay, mama I am coming,” shouts Trina as she keeps trying to pull out her loose baby tooth with her fingers. Trina is the fifth child of ten kids. She did not grow up with her father in the home. He left after her mother gave birth to their sixth child. Although Trina’s mother gave birth to four more kids; their father did not live with them. He would come over and on occasions spend the night. Trina’s house was always busy with ten kids running around; complaining and fighting over everything. Trina’s mother would escape from the noise by spending the majority of her time locked in her bedroom.

    Trina was the meekest of all her siblings. She has always been compassionate, patient, considerate and giving. Throughout Trina school days, classmates thought they could use her as an example to show off with other students by flexing their muscles and bucking up against her. Those classmates soon found out, she only turns the cheek once before showing them that living with nine very aggressive siblings has taught her a thing or two in defending herself. This pattern in behavior from people followed Trina into her adult life.

    Trina never worked at any job less than six years. She always noticed there was a pattern in her co-workers’ behavior towards her meekness. They always made her the butt of their jokes when they were around other co-workers. Trina normally would smile as she shakes her head before walking away. She did not take a lot of things offensively. Although the person was trying to be offensive, Trina accepted the fact that this is how people act especially around someone who is meek. There has never been a time in her adult life that a least one person among the crowd did not act in this manner with a meek person. Trina called these people bullies. She realized early on in life, that bullies love when the spotlight is on them. And they all seem to follow the same method in having the light shine on them. They would find the meekest person they know within their friend circle to embarrass or make the butt of their jokes. Because in their mines, meekest means weakness. The funny thing is that the bully would act totally different when they were one on one with Trina. They would be the nicest, kindest person to be around. But babe, babe, when someone else joined the mix; it was lights, camera, and action time in the mind of the bully.

    Trina is usually a strong person and takes what the “spot-light-bully-hoers” do to her with ease. Yes, she nicked named them “Spot-light-bully-hoers”. One day when Trina was alone in her backyard sipping on a glass of wine reminiscing about the pattern of the “Spot-light-bully-hoers” towards her meekness. She reflects on a time in elementary school when she tried to act like a “Spot-light-bully-hoer” with a classmate. She wanted to know what the people gained from acting that way. She wanted to see if it would make her feel good about herself; or powerful. So, she decided to pick on scary Susy who everyone picks on. Usually, Trina was one of the few classmates who was kind to Susy; and would talk to her. Trina wanted to impress the new girl in class by making Susy the butt of the joke and by demanding that Susy bring her a quarter to school the next day in order to not whop her butt. Trina ends up being the butt of the joke when Susy laughed at her in front of everyone. Susy did not take Trina seriously. The new girl tried to get Trina to fight Susy for laughing and not taking her serious; but Trina couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bring herself to hurt Susy for doing nothing to her. Trina realized she wasn’t cut out to be this type of person. Because Trina did not follow through with whopping Susy butt as she was instructed by the new girl; the new girl perceived that Trina was weak and felt she could make a name for herself by picking a fight with Trina after school. Baby girl soon realized that Trina was not weak. Trina kicked the new girl butt up and down the street in front of the school. From that lesson Trina realized she was different. Even scary Susy could see she was different. Trina no longer tried to fit into the status of the “Spot-Light-bully-Hoers”. Trina laughs out loud among herself as she thought back on that time of her life in elementary school when scary Susy laughed at her trying to be a bully.

    In Trina’s adult life, she has always been caring and giving to her friends; even if they had moments of using her to gain fame as a “Spot-Light-Bully-Hoer”. What hurt Trina is when someone whom she felt was a dear friend plotted to destroy her character and name due to jealousy. Barbara Jean and Trina had been close friends for over thirty years. They never missed a day talking on the phone to each other. They always were out shopping together; attending events together. Also, they went to college together; took the same classes together in college; volunteer for the same non-profits. They were two peas in a pot. Trina had no idea her best friend was a snake in the grass hiding her true authentic self. Barbara Jean would try to defame Trina’s character with lies. Barbara Jean would secretly influence Trina kids into thinking their mom was too strict and was trying to hold them back in life from having fun. Trina kids would always want to hang out at Barbara Jean house with her kids. Trina did not think anything of it because both families were close. Barbara Jean knew that Trina had an important event to handle at her job around the same time of her daughter’s graduation from high school. Barbara Jean talked Trina into allowing her to take her daughter shopping for a dress, shoes and to get her hair done. Trina was so happy her friend step in to help out. She trusts her friend would know exactly the appropriate attire for graduation. To Trina surprise, when she shows up at her daughter’s graduation; her daughter was wearing a mini halter top dress with no bra; her bare back was without a shawl to cover her shoulders. And she was wearing red 4-inch heels with matching make up. Because Trina’s daughter was not used to walking in high heels, she walked like someone who had been drinking an alcohol beverage, and she looked like someone who had been walking the streets all night. After the graduation when Trina tried to express to her daughter her clothing was not appropriate for a high school graduation, her daughter moves out the home to live with Barbara Jean. It took Trina’s daughter six months of living with Barbara Jean to find out, Barbara Jean was no friend to her mom. She would overhear Barbara Jean talk on the phone about her mother. She couldn’t believe the nasty things she would overhear Barbara Jean say about her mother. Trina’s daughter realized that Barbara Jean used her to hurt her mother. She felt so bad and ashamed that she had participated in hurting her mom. That experience eventually bought Trina and her daughter closer together. Trina was able to gain insight as to why people had changed towards her in a negative way without them having a problem with each other. Trina’s daughter overheard Barbara Jean lie on her mother by talking about her mother’s character, morals, and beliefs in a negative way.

    Trina always noticed that Barbara Jean strived to outdo her or be better than her in their shared endeavors. Trina was not a competitive person; so, it did not bother her. She strives to just give her best for the cause not to compete. Soon after Trina’s daughter had informed her about the hate and lies that Barbara Jean was spreading about her; other people begin to express the same to Trina. These people would caution Trina by letting her know that Barbara Jean was not a true friend to her. Trina was hurt and did not understand what she had done to warrant this type of treatment from Barbara Jean. As Trina begin to spend time mediating and praying about the situation with Barbara Jean; she had a dream. In the dream, Trina could clearly see that Barbara Jean was jealous of her demeanor and spirit, as well as, her willingness to help others without expecting anything in return. She was jealous of people complimenting Trina’s work performance and her organization skills. She was jealous of Trina housekeeping skills; Trina was very picky about keeping a clean house and she is a good cook who was constantly entertaining family and friends at her home. Barbara Jean was especially jealous of what she perceived as the favor of God on Trina’s life; simply because Trina would pray about something and it appears to Barbara Jean that God answer Trina’s prayers right away. When Trina confronted Barbara Jean about all she had heard and learned about her being against her; Barbara Jean did not deny it; she simply ends her friendship with Trina by ghosting her. Barbara Jean ending their friendship confirmed to Trina that all she heard and received spiritually was true. Trina refuses to allow the way Barbara Jean feels about her cause any discomfort in her life. Trina bought closers to the relationship by praying in private for her ex-friend.

    Trina is a person who is obviously walking in the light of God’s love, and it appears, that is the only light she wants to shine on her. God’s love is a Supernatural, Super Spiritual Love that no one’s hate or lies can manipulate or control. Trina prayed that Barbara Jean diverts her focus to obtaining the light that darkness cannot dim; which is God’s light. Trina hopes that Barbara Jean builds a relationship with God so that she can see that God’s love and favor is for all who accepts it.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Promises! Promises! Promises!

    Promises! Promises! Promises!

    Let’s talk about it…

    Patricia and Bernard have been best friends since the age of five. Patricia’s parents purchase a home next door to Bernard’s family home when she was four years old. Bernard’s mother Janice came over with cookies to welcome Patricia’s family to the neighborhood. From that point on, Patricia and Bernard’s mothers became the best of friends. Both women were in their early thirties when they met and for medical reasons was not able to have any more children. Because they had a lot in common medically and personally; they were able to give each other support during their emotional roller coaster up and down mood swings.

    Patricia and Bernard’s parents did not allow them to play outside of their fenced in backyard. This is because the kids in their neighborhood were age twelve and up. They both play with kids their age at school; however, their classmates lived three or more blocks away. As they grew older people begin to call them the Dexter twins because they both lived on Dexter Drive and were very close.

    At the age of sixteen, Bernard’s parents bought him a Range Rover car and gave him a black card to cover his expenditures. Patricia’s parents were more conservative in their spending as well as in how they raised their daughter. Bernard would drive him and Patricia to and from school. When Patricia started working part-time after school, Bernard would pick her up assuring that she made it home safely. He really considers Patricia his little sister since he was three months older than her. In turn, Patricia loved and respected Bernard as an older brother. She had his back no matter what.

    Patricia notice Bernard’s popularity grew while they were in college. Every day, Bernard had a different girl on his arm or riding in his car. Patricia was dating Bernard’s friend Randy. Randy would tell Patricia about the unfulfilled promises Bernard would make to the girls that was hanging around him. Because Bernard would use his black card to wine and dine these girls, they believed in the promises he made to them. Patricia would listen but remain neutral. She never gave an opinion. She knew what Randy was saying about the unfulfilled promises Bernard made to the girls was true because the young ladies begin to confide in her. The young ladies would tell Patricia about Bernard having them spend their monthly allowance and book money to cover weekend trips while his black card was on a temporary three day hold because of suspicious activity of use in another state. The young ladies would spend their money without question because Bernard previously used his black card to wine and dine them; and, on occasions take them shopping to purchase a nice outfit. When the ladies ask for reimbursement for the money they spent to cover the weekend trip, Bernard would act like he did not know what they were talking about. Then he would remind the ladies of what he done for them when they become irate with him. He would call them gold diggers who is only with him because of what he could provide to them. Bernard’s popularity in college begin to cease prior to graduation. Bernard and Patricia have this one female friend in college who was not a victim of Bernard’s promises made during his college days. Her name is Gladys. Gladys always had a crush on Bernard but did not express it to him because of all the young ladies he entertained. After graduating from college, Patricia and Randy took their relationship to the next level. Randy gave Patricia a promise ring as they both agreed to exclusively date each other as they build their relationship with the hopes of becoming husband and wife. Patricia was concern about Bernard; she decided to take him to dinner to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. She could see he was feeling a little melancholy about the next chapter of his life after the young ladies dissipated from his life. At dinner, Patricia asked Bernard why he never asked Glady out on a date? Is she not your type; asked Patricia? “I find Gladys very attracted states Bernard; and yes, she is my type. I never asked her out on a date because I put Gladys in a higher statue as the other girls I was dating in college.” What do you mean by higher statue asked Patricia? “Well, I see Gladys as marriage material, not as a party girl. She would be someone I will date when I am ready to settle down.” “Bernard, I’m not sure where you are, at this stage of your life; and I don’t want to rush or influence you to make a rash decision. However, please be aware that young ladies like Gladys are rare and they do not sit on the market for too long if you know what I mean. Glady has a crush on you. She never showed her interest in you because you were always entertaining multiple women at the same time. I just thought you should know.” “Thanks, Patricia, for the wakeup call. I will give our conversation some thought.”

    Three months after graduating from college, Bernard finds a job at a local TV station working in production. After he moves out his parent’s home into a one bedroom, his parents pay off his black card and closed the account. Not having the multiple ladies in his life any longer, Bernard decided to give Gladys a call. They talked on the phone for nearly an hour; catching each other up on their current status in life. Bernard finally had the courage to ask Gladys out on a date.  She accepts his offer. However, Bernard missed the excitement from his college days. He loved spending money without any restrictions. He loved how people looked up to him and wanted to be around him because the sky was the limit. He was well known among his peers. The men envy him and all the women wanted to be with him. Now, his life has taken a drastic change. Bernard wants that feeling of excitement and rush again. It made him feel happy and validated. Bernard had applied for a black card, in his name only, after his parents canceled the one, they gave to him at the age of sixteen. Bernard shows up at Gladys’ apartment at 1:00pm on the day of their date. Gladys was surprised to see him. “What are you doing here so early? I thought we agree to you picking me up at 6:00pm.” “You are correct. Although it is not part of the original plan, I come to take you shopping.” Shopping! Why are we going shopping asked Gladys? “I want us both to dress accordingly for the five-star restaurant we will be dining at tonight. I am taking you to Le Marmalade” Wow, states Gladys; that’s an expensive fancy restaurant on the other side of town. “Well, this is a special day; and I want it to show in where we dine for the evening.” Bernard spends $900 for Gladys’ dress, $200 for a one-ounce bottle of perfume and $1,000 for her shoes. His outfit cost a total of $2,500. They were dress to impress when they pulled up to valet parking. They looked and smell like money. The parking lot attendants were making sure they were handled with care in hopes of a huge tip. The combined meal for two cost $1,000 with 25 percent in gratuity, the total billed came to $1,250. The couple did not order an appetizer or dessert. Gladys notice Bernard paid with a black card for dinner and when they went shopping earlier in the day. At dinner, Bernard expressed to Gladys that he was looking for a wife because he was ready to settle down, start a family and buy a home in one of their lavish city’s areas. He tells Gladys that it is his desire to one day marry her. He asked for their relationship to be exclusive. Gladys stated that she would love to be in an exclusive relationship with him. She expressed how she always liked him and prayed that one day they would become a couple.

    One year after dating, Bernard purchases a ten-carat diamond engagement ring for Glady. He asked to move in with Gladys in order to save money for their dream home. Little did Glady know; Bernard was racking up debt. He was working a second part-time job and had borrow a substantial amount of money from his parents. Bernard had a friend who worked in Real Estate as a broker. Bernard talked Glady into them purchasing their dream home two months before the wedding. He tells Glady that he wants to take her across the threshold of their forever home after the wedding. Bernard’s Real Estate Broker friend takes them around viewing homes between the range of a million to five million. They both agreed on a five bedroom 4 ½ bath home causing two million. The Broker states, he would contact them after he receives the acceptance letter for the offer. Three days later, the Broker calls Bernard to tell him that their offer was accepted. Bernard had added Gladys to his credit union account prior to them looking for a home. He tells her that he wanted them to pre-qualify for the home together using the same creditor. Little did Gladys know, only her credit was run for purchasing the home. Gladys had outstanding credit and a lucrative business. She was part owner of a medical clinic. Bernard tells the Broker that Gladys is embarrass of the fact that she will be the one purchasing their home. And after he finish paying off some debt, they will refinance the home to add his name to the loan. So, he asked the broker to not make her feel worse by mentioning she is the only one purchasing the home. The broker tells Bernard, he understands will make sure she is not embarrassed. Bernard arranged for Gladys to go to the broker office to sign the mortgage documents without him. He asked the Broker to not have the notary provide copies of the signed documents directly to her; but to instruct her that the documents copies will be sent by courier to their home. As long as it was legal the Broker did not care what their preference were.  Bernard tells Gladys that he will sign the following day after she signs.

    Before adding Gladys’s name to his credit union bank account, Bernard had borrowed three hundred thousand and had the money wire to his credit union. He was able to pay the two hundred thousand for the down payment of the house. Bernard had a second bank where his work check was deposit. He used the second bank to paid his bills. Bernard and Gladys had agreed that he will pay the down payment on the house and she will pay for the wedding. He was happy that he did not have to figure out how he was going to pay for the wedding. Gladys also agreed to purchase new furniture for their master bedroom and for the kitchen before they move into their new home. They both agreed to purchase furniture for the remaining rooms of the house together.

    After the wedding, Bernard was able to carry his new wife across the threshold of their new home. Bernard was promoted on his job which helped a little with his debt. One week after the wedding, Gladys notices their first mortgage statement was in her name only. When Gladys confronted Bernard, he claims the credit union mortgage agent stated his credit was not needed because Gladys was pre-approved for the entire amount needed to purchase their home. Bernard diverted Gladys’ attention away from the mortgage by telling her she can use $20,000 of the hundred thousand in the credit union joint account to finish furnishing the house. Gladys knew twenty thousand would barely furnish the living and dining room together. Gladys thought to herself that she will match the twenty thousand and they both will purchase furniture for the remaining bedrooms as needed.

    Now that Bernard and Gladys are living together as husband and wife, she notices he appears to be having many melancholy moments. When not working long hours, he sits in their bedroom in the dark. Also, she notices he doesn’t show affection. Suddenly Gladys realizes Bernard never shown any form of affection. She had allowed his bubbly personality blind her from seeing his authentic self. Gladys pleaded with Bernard to seek counseling with her. She tells him she feared their marriage will not survive a year if they don’t go to counseling. Bernard realizing it was difficult keeping himself in high spirit agreed with his wife.

    After three months of counseling, the psychologist concluded, “the swift shift into life as Adult has been a dramatic change for Bernard. Throughout Bernard’s childhood his parent expressed their love by buying him whatever he wanted. They gave him a black card to cover his expenses at the age of 16. Bernard realized in his early stages of life, fortune bought him attention and affection without recourse for who he was as a person. He made financial promises to people that he did not keep. He caused people to get into debt because of the promises he made. No one checked his creditability for the promises made because he was the big man on campus spending money lavishly. Taking people to five-star restaurants and throwing huge parties on his black card. What people did not know is that Bernard’s spending behavior was his way of expressing love and receiving affection from the people who cheered him on as they enjoyed being in his company because of the financial good time he gave them. Bernard gave to people what he received from his parents. Bernard doesn’t know how to express love outside of showing people a good time. When he cannot express love in the only way he knows, it causes him to become sad and to withdraw from people.” The psychologist ends her conclusion with the following statement; “now that we know the cause of Bernard’s lack in affection, sad moments, and isolation from socializing, we can work on coming up with strategies to change these behavioral traits. I recommend weekly personal counseling for Bernard and once a month family counseling with you both.” Bernard and Gladys both agreed to counseling.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Is it Lust; or Is it Love?

    Is it Lust; or Is it Love?

    Is it lust or is it love; the jury is still out for deliberation?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Benjamin Lee Johnson was raised by his grandparents. He never met his birth parents. His parents were among many rushed to the hospital after their plane crashed in the ocean. Benjamin mother was eight months pregnant at the time of the crashed. His parents were returning home from London to have their baby in the U.S. Benjamin grandparents received the heart-breaking phone call within a few hours of his birth. His birth mother made sure the hospital staff was fully aware of the next of kin before she closed her eyes. His grandparents were able to savage some pictures of his birth parents from their luggage which was delivered to them from the airlines.

    Benjamin grew up shelter from the world. His grandparents sent him to a private school that was located within a gated private property. The students’ activities and whereabouts were monitor with onsite cameras throughout the private gated property. No student was able to leave the property without a legitimate approved reason or without an adult escort. Benjamin grandparents were determined to protect him and themselves from the wilds of public school. When Benjamin wasn’t in school, he was in church with his grandparents five days a week. Benjamin learned to play the organ and the drums. He was a member of the church band. At the age of sixteen, Benjamin decided he wanted to become a lawyer as well as a preacher. After graduating from high school, he went to college during the day to become a lawyer, and he went to seminary school two nights each week to become a preacher. Benjamin combined the celebration for his twenty-third birthday with the celebration for obtaining two degrees. His grandparents rented a hall and invited all his friends from church and school.

    Benjamin has never had a girlfriend. For this reason, he would avoid conversations with his guy friends about girls. He did not want them to know that he was unexperienced in dating. On occasions, Benjamin would witness couples on campus at college kissing or walking and holding hands. He never touched a woman. He wasn’t sure how to kiss. From observing others, at times it looked like some couples was kissing with their mouth open, and other times it looked like their lips were glued together. He wasn’t sure which was appropriate or if he was to ask the girl. Benjamin became a junior preacher to the head preacher at his church. Because he had begun to think a lot about women, he decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with the preacher. Benjamin did not want his thoughts of women to interfere with his duties as a junior preacher. The preacher was very surprised that Benjamin never had a girl friend or was never taught about the birds and the bees. Benjamin was clueless about intimacy and romance. The preacher did not know how to educate a grown man on intimacy. He told Benjamin to find himself a nice, single church girl to marry and God would teach him the rest. Benjamin did as instruct by his preacher. He noticed April appeared to be raised in the same manner as himself. They both attended the same private school. After graduating high school, she went to college to get her degree as a Registered Nurse. She came to his twenty-third birthday celebration solo. Following the instructions of his preacher, Benjamin asked April to go on a date with him. He took her to a nice restaurant. During dinner, he discussed his need to get marry and have a family.  April was grinning from ear to ear during dinner. She couldn’t believe someone as handsome as Benjamin was talking to her about marriage. She agrees with everything Benjamin said to her. They both vowed on their first date to continue dating for a year, then to marry each other.

    One year later, the two was married at their church by the senior preacher. Their wedding receptionist was held in the banquet hall at the church. Their wedding night was very awkward because neither was experience. Their love making was clumsy but enjoyable. Their intimacy was lacking substance. There was No foreplay or very much outward affection. Benjamin would hold April hand when they were out in public and on occasions, he would kiss her on the lips. They both knew something was missing; but did not know how to correct it. April because pregnant after one year of marriage. She gave birth to twins; a girl and a boy. The twins consume the majority of her time. Benjamin was working for a law firm that kept him busy. The couple appeared to use staying busy as an excuse for their lack in affection towards each other. They both always talked about how tire they were before going to bed. Their sex life became a once per week quickie.

    The senior preacher was scheduled to have surgery; which meant he would need someone to cover for him for approximately three months. The senior pastor asked Benjamin if his schedule would allow him to cover. Benjamin agreed to cover. He immediately started with having a meeting with the church staff to set up his schedule. The congregation was familiar with Benjamin preaching style from him stepping in from time to time when the senior pastor took a day off or took a short vacation. The congregation loved Benjamin as a preacher. The offering would go up when he preached as well as the sanctuary would be packed with people standing. Extra chairs had to be place down the aisles and in the back. The people were hungry for a fresh word, which Benjamin did not fell to deliver each week. Benjamin private counseling sessions with parishioners were always booked up on Saturdays from 1:00pm to 5:00pm. Each session was schedule for thirty minutes in length. Benjamin was good with wrapping up the sessions five minutes before the next session begin, in order to take a short break in between. This one particular Saturday, Benjamin was scheduled to meet with Ms. Buffy Chamber at 4:30pm. She was his last session for the day and week. Buffy was running late, she called the church to inform the staff that she would be ten minutes late; however, she arrived twenty minutes late. Because of her tardiness, the staff rescheduled Buffy’s counsel session. Ms. Buffy pleaded with the staff that it is important she counsel with the pastor today; because it was a matter of life or death. Benjamin heard Buffy pleading with the church staff. He interjected by letting the staff know that he was willing to stay a few minutes over to counsel with Buffy. He told the staff that he would be okay and they should leave at their normal time after locking up the church. He informed the staff that he would lock up the office. It was five o’clock by the time Benjamin sat down to start his counseling with Buffy. The staff had finish locking up the church and was heading out the door. The office building front door automatically locked behind the staff as they exist the building. Benjamin asked Buffy what bought her into the office for counseling. Buffy stated she was fighting strong temptation and avoiding intimacy with one of the deacons who had been coming on to her for several months. She tells Pastor Benjamin, she had no physical attraction to this deacon; however, she was having sexual urges that was controlling her thoughts. Pastor Benjamin asked Buffy if she was married and sexually active. “Pastor, states Buffy; I am not married or currently sexually active. However; I was sexually active approximately 2 ½ years ago, when I was twenty-one, before I broke up with my boyfriend. So, my body is definitely missing what I am familiar with. I am now trying to live this holy life without sex; but the deacon keeps whispering in my ear, what it is he wants to do to me. I trying to avoid him, but every time I turn around, he is in my private space. My body craves what the deacon is saying he is going to do to me; however, I do not want it from him.”  Ms. Buffy, if you like I can have a talk with the deacon. Hopefully it will help to ease your cravings by not having him speak sexual fantasies in your ear. Benjamin felt very awkward. He was not skilled in the sex department and wasn’t sure what to say to Buffy. “Okay, Pastor Benjamin, if you think it would help.” Buffy gave Benjamin the deacon’s name. Benjamin asked to pray with Buffy before she leaves. Buffy, agreed to prayer. Benjamin begins to pray while sitting in his seat behind the desk. Buffy interrupts him before he could get too deep into the prayer.

    Pastor, can we stand and hold hands, I would like to make sure God see we are touching and agreeing in the name of Jesus. They both stood and held hands. After Benjamin finish praying, Buffy gave him a long and hard hug. Benjamin body begin to tingle in places it shouldn’t be tingling in. He jumped when he felt his manhood raised; so, did Buffy when she felt it rise. Buffy placed her hand on the forbidden as she passionately kissed him. Benjamin was paralyzed. He couldn’t move. Although, he knew what was taking place was forbidden, he couldn’t stop it. The energy that was on him was strong. He couldn’t open his mouth to pray it away. He found himself surrendering to its power. Him and Buffy had sex on the floor of the office. Benjamin experience love making for the first time. It blew his mind. He didn’t know sexual intercourse could feel so good. He never had anyone done to his body what Buffy did to him. He found himself engaging in a way that he did not know he was capable of knowing what to do. Afterwards, he was silence; he didn’t know what to say. “Thang Pastor, I didn’t know you had that in you, states Buffy. Look! I’m going to get out of here so you can close up the office. Thanks for seeing me at the last minutes. Oh yeah, and thanks for volunteering to talk to the deacon for me. Bye Pastor, have a good evening.” Shouts Buffy after leaving the office. Benjamin went to the Senior Pastor’s personal bathroom upstairs in the office building to take a quick shower.  In fear of bringing attention to himself by using one of the Senior Pastor’s towels, he dried his body with paper towels, he placed the wet paper towels in the kitchen area trash cans.  Benjamin realized he has just experienced the stronghold of sexual temptation. Also, he realized why people who is struggling with temptation cannot be around other people who is struggling with temptation. He especially realized why Pastors do not counsel without office staff being near; and why a taste of the forbidden fruit becomes a stronghold. He realized spirits are transferrable; transferring from one person to another; and one had transfer to him. For this reason, he understood why the forbidden fruit he just tasted was sweet and pleasing to his flesh. He hasn’t stop thinking about it. Instead of feeling shame and guilt, he is finding himself thinking about its pleasure. As Pastor Benjamin drove home, he decided to take a three-week Sabbatical from counseling in order to fast and pray. He needs to cleanse himself of the spirit that had attached itself to his flesh.

    After a couple of weeks of fasting from sun up to sun down each day; and praying daily, Pastor Benjamin was feeling stronger. He no longer craves the flesh of Buffy. He felt strong enough to talk with the deacon who had been harassing Buffy with sexual remarks. Also, he made sure his staff was always near during counseling sessions. He prayed with staff before starting counseling and after ending counseling. He did not want any unwelcome dark spirits latching on to his flesh again. Although, he felt forgiven for his sins, and was confidence in his renewed strength, the sexual experience he learned did not leave him. He used his experience to bring joy to his marital bed. Him and his wife begin to look at each other differently. They both begin to show each other a lot of affection. What the enemy meant for evil; God used it for good. Pastor Benjamin and his wife was enjoying each other sexually. Him and his wife fell in love with each other.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Narcissistic Maniac! WT*?

    Narcissistic Maniac! WT*?

    What do you do when you discover your mate is a narcissistic maniac?

    Let’s talk about it…

    The dictionary describes Narcissist as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. An online unknown source list narcissistic personality disorder symptoms as follows.

    • Being overly boastful, exaggerating one’s own achievements
    • Pretending to be superior to others
    • Lack of empathy for others
    • Looking down on others as inferior
    • Monopolizing conversations
    • Impatient, angry, unhappy, depressed or has mood swings when criticized
    • Easily disappointed when expected importance is not given
    • Always craves for “the best” in everything
    • Has a very fragile (easily broken) self-esteem

    Because a Narcissistic person wants people to see them as perfect, they hide who they really are; especially, when they first meet a person. Socializing with a narcissistic person overtime will expose their true characteristic personality. Let’s see if we can recognize the signs missed by Patrice in the following short story.

    Patrice had been living her best life as a single, non-dating individual for five years when she met Chris at her friend’s birthday party. Patrice previous relationship was very hostile. For this reason, she wasn’t interested in dating anyone. Patrice would only socialize within a group atmosphere. Every time she was approached by someone wanting to get to know her in a personal way, she would politely inform them that she was taking a sabbatical leave from dating in order to heal emotionally. Patrice no longer had the desire to jump into a relationship with the first man who showed interest in her. When she met Chris, she felt secure within herself, in making a better choice when it comes to selecting a mate. She felt, taking the proper time to heal emotionally and spiritually has help her confidence in selecting a mate. When Chris approached her, she was beyond comfortable with his characteristic traits portrayed among their social group. She watched for three years how well Chris socialized with the group. He was always helpful, very polite, slow to anger, and the voice of reason. As Patrice observed how Chris operated within the group, she would often wonder why he was not dating someone. He always showed up solo to every event the group put together. Chris showing up solo actually help Patrice feel comfortable in not being the only one showing up without a date.

    Patrice felt there was no harm in talking with Chris over the phone when he asked to call her sometimes. She thought to herself, it would be a good way to get to know him better. Patrice was prepared, so she thought, to recognize red flags that would say NO to her and Chris relationship moving beyond a friendship. Patrice was determined not to repeat history by selecting the wrong type of man to be in a relationship with, which is what lead to her taking a break from dating. Patrice and Chris talked over the phone for nearly five months before going on a date. They would often facetime each other whenever they talked. Her only concern was why he had not dated anyone for the last four years. She found it strange. After five months of talking over the phone, they went on their first date. Chris was the perfect gentleman. For the first two months of dating Patrice always met Chris at the restaurant or event they attended as a couple. Because Chris was very patience with her, she felt comfortable in allowing him to come to her home. To her surprised, Chris was the perfect gentleman in her home. He did not try to force himself on her. He asked to kiss her before leaning in for a kiss. He went home at a reasonable time. He helped her clean up the kitchen. Each time they went out, he opens the door for her and he refused to allow her to pay for anything. The only thing he did not do was pull out her chair when she sat. Patrice loved Chris smile. He was always smiling and he appeared to always be listening to her when they talk. She did notice, his feedback in conversations was usually brief, to the point, and in high regards of himself. Patrice was not looking for someone without any flaws; she was looking for someone who was open to show his flaws. And she was looking for someone whose flaws would not harm her in anyway. She understands that compromise is part of any real relationship. However, she was not willing to compromise with someone who is mean spirit; and disrespectful. She did not want to be in a relationship with someone who is mentally or physically abusive. Patrice felt Chris’ flaws appeared to be harmless and something she could live with. Patrice felt very relax and comfort with Chris. On Patrice’s birthday, Chris surprised her with an engagement ring. He asked Patrice to marry him. Patrice feeling like she had found the perfect man said yes to Chris proposal. Chris expressed to Patrice that he wanted a short-term engagement; he was ready to get marry as soon as possible. Patrice wanted time to plan an extravagant wedding. Chris convinces Patrice, the money saved on a wedding could be used as a down payment on a house. Patrice was happy that Chris was thinking about their future together. Therefore, she agreed to a court house wedding with only her closes friends and family in attendance. On the day of the wedding, Patrice was surprise that not one person in Chris’ family attend. As planned, Chris and Patrice purchased a house together immediately after getting married at the court house.

    Everything was going well with Chris and Patrice up to the point of decorating and moving into their new house. After they were settled into their home, Chris true authentic self slowly surface. Each time Patrice would talk on the phone to a family member or a friend, Chris would become agitated and throw stuff around. He would knock mail off the table onto the floor; he would push the decorate pillows off the couch onto the floor, and slam doors. Patrice often would immediately end her phone conversation to see what was wrong. Chris would act like he doesn’t know what Patrice is talking about when she asks him why is he behaving in the same manner as a child having a tantrum. He would make her feel bad for asking that question. Also, after living together, Patrice discovers Chris is very messy and would leave his mess for her to clean up. Patrice noticed that Chris stop opening doors for her when it was only the two of them; he would only open the door for her if someone else was present to witness him being a gentleman. Taking out the trash is the only indoor work Chris did within their home. He would give Patrice orders on chores she needed to do in cleaning the house; especially on the weekends. After she would clean the entire house, he would walk on her clean floors with mud on his shoes from him watering the flower bed. Chris was a complete slob behind closed doors; he would leave his funky, dirty clothes all over the house. He would take his coat off; throw it on the couch until he was ready to wear it again. Whenever he would shop at the grocery store for his personal favorites, he would place the bags of grocery on the floor until Patrice put the items away; and he would put his work boots on the dinning room or kitchen table until Patrice removes them. Chris never help Patrice carry heavy items from her car into the house, unless a neighbor was watching; only then would he help her. Chris was all about how others proceed him. He was always ready to put on a gentleman show in the presence of others.

    Whenever Chris and Patrice travel together by car, he would get mad at Patrice if he missed his exit on the freeway or had trouble finding the location of where he was going. He would yell at her for not having his back by assisting him with directions. On the flip side, when she did try to help him with directions, he would yell at her for trying to be the front seat driver as a passenger. Patrice was so happy that their home had 2 ½ baths; therefore, she did not have to share a bathroom with Chris. Chris would take two-hour baths using two to three different bubble bath products at one time. He never cleaned his tub or his bathroom. Patrice refused to clean Chris’ bathroom. She couldn’t understand how he would come out his bathroom looking clean and smelling fresh with all those gems from not cleaning his bathroom. He would spend hours in his bathroom, making sure his hair, face and clothes were perfect. He used facial creams, body creams, and special hair product. His clothes have to be fresh from the cleaners, and his shoes had to be freshly polished. Outside appearances and acknowledgements were very important to Chris. He would get mad at Patrice if he did not get the accolades, he expected each time he stepped outside among people. Chris would talk down about people who did not recognize him as a perfect gentleman. Patrice was not allowed to dominate any conversations when Chris was around. He prefers her to play the dumb silent wife who looks to her husband for all the answers. Anyone who comes into their home and do not acknowledge him as the head is no longer welcome into their home; this includes Patrice’s family. It was Patrice’s responsibility to make sure the unwelcome person was no longer invited into their home.

    After five years of marriage, Patrice asked Chris for a divorce. As she tried to have a conversation with him regarding the reason, she wants a divorce; he argued that her feelings were fraudulent; therefore, he did not want to hear them. He stated that she is hiding her true feelings of not being able to handle his level of perfection; and therefore, he flipped her request by asking her for a divorce.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Silence is a virtue when it comes to telling your truth

    Silence is a virtue when it comes to telling your truth

    Why do you have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to telling other people truth?

    Let’s talk it…

    Dr. Know is a well-known oral surgeon. He graduated top of his class over thirty years ago from a well-known University. He is the CEO of a dental network he founded twenty years ago. Dr. Know has been married twenty-five years, and he has three kids with his wife. Dr. Know uses many media platforms to advertise his practice. He advertises on television, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.  After Dr. Know and his family became a reality TV star five years ago; he has used his social media platform to speak on other people lives. With all that is on Dr. Knows plate; overseeing a dental network, on reality TV; how does he have time to blog about people personal lives. It appears he is trying to keep the attention off self by deflecting the assumption people makes about him being a loud mouth nosey person who is partaking in an alcoholic drink in every media appearance he makes as well as on reality TV. In every TV scene, Dr. Know is sipping from a tall coffee mug. Whatever he is drinking in that mug keeps him bubbly and in high spirit. Although people complaint about him being a busy body who is in everyone’s personal affairs; they all admits he is a darn good oral surgeon. People praise his work as one of the best in his home State.

    Dr. Know do not want anyone, and I mean anyone to talk about his wife and kids in a negative or a personal way. He calls his wife “Mama”. Dr. Know has a good-looking family. His youngest child, who is his twin in looks, is 15 years old. One would have thought his youngest child, who is his only son and is his identical twin, would have been named after his father. Dr. Know oldest two children have acquired their mother’s looks. They are very beautiful, quiet, and as the reality story goes, they are top of their class in college. Through-out the five years Dr. Know has been on reality TV, his oldest two children have only made a few appearances. His son has practically grown up on TV as one of the reality stars.

    Dr. Know has had verbal altercations with all the cast members since the start of his appearance on reality TV. Most viewers blame it on the liquid; he is drinking in his coffee mug. His coffee mug has become as well-known as Dr. Know; after all, it has been in ninety-five percent of the televised scenes. In additional to being an outstanding oral surgeon, Dr. Know is outstanding in expressing verbal insults towards people who has pushed his anger control button. Pushing his anger control button slightly into the red will cause Dr. Know to shout a warning phrase called “Your Daddy”. The phrase “Your Daddy” is a well-known saying in urban communities when someone is trying to ignite the anger of a person or warn the person to back off. “Your Daddy” in most communities are fighting words; because it’s an implication that you are talking about that person daddy in a negative way, now one must defend the honor of their father whom they dearly love and respect. Further pushing Dr. Know anger control button deep into the heart of red, will cause Dr. Know to curse a person out from head to toe; adding insults about the cursed-out person spouse; house; life; looks; and profession. Once Dr. Know anger control button has been moved back into the black; he immediately rectify the situation by saying “get over it; the truth hurts”. Never does he apology because that would be admitting fault on his part.

    Approximately three years ago, Dr. Know and a former cast member whose tongue is equally as sharp as Dr. Know had a heated argument. The roof was blown off the building as these two angerly shouted insults after insults at each other. The viewers were on the edge of their seats when Dr. Know shouted “Your Daddy”. The former cast member well aware of the phrase was not having it. The former cast member had to defend the honor of their father; whom often appeared on the reality TV show. The only reason security did not have to intervene is because the two social distance their insults to each other. At one point, security was about to seriously earn their pay when the former cast member had walked out the door then re-enter walking sideways towards Dr. Know. It was about to go down. The former cast mate looked at security than decided, it was not worth it.

    Although Dr. Know has been in arguments with each cast member; they all seem to really get alone with Dr. Know the majority of the time. They all avoid mentioning Dr. Knows wife name in any capacity; good or bad. Dr. Know is very protected as well as jealous about his wife. No one is to address her as “mama” the nickname he has given to her. Or call her by her first name.  Because his wife is also a doctor; he only allows people to call her “Mrs. Dr. Know” without him getting angry. Dr. Know doesn’t allow any man to talk to his wife, at a social gathering, longer than one minute. He doesn’t allow his wife to look at another man longer than a few seconds. Dr. Know treat his wife in the same manner as his collection of precious gemstones. He locks all his jewelry and gemstones in his floor to ceiling vault. During social gatherings at his home, he brings them out for show and tell. He loves how the people make “ooaa” and “aww” sounds at his collection. The people have permission to look but not touch.

    Last season, Dr. Know showed a softer side when he supported a cast member who was having marital problems. For the entire season, he patiently listens to the cast member; encourage the cast member; reassured the cast member that they did nothing wrong to cause their spouse to publicly disrespected them on a reality TV show. As soon as the last season filming of the show ended; Dr. Know used social media such as Instagram and Twitter live to communicate with fans about the show. The fans had many questions about the cast mates’ personal lives outside of filming. Dr. Know was happy to answer every question; especially all the intricate details about his cast mate personal private life regarding their spouse. The cast mate couldn’t believe Dr. Know boldly spoke about their personal life on social media. The cast mate feels whatever was not shown during filming is private information that shouldn’t be shared publicly outside their reality TV circle. In the words of Dr. Know; “if the fans want to know and ask, I’m all here for it, as long as they are asking about other cast mates’ personal life instead of mines”.

    Because Dr. Knows social media conversations with fans has grown so large; he decided to start a Podcast. Dr. Know decided to use his podcast to speak on all the reality TV shows that are of interest to him. Cast members from the other reality tv shows are using social media to express their disappointment in Dr. Know making assumptions about their lives. These cast members are rallying together to protest Dr. Know speaking on their lives when he doesn’t know anything about them. They feel his venom is more powerful than the normal reality TV blogger because of his title and position in reality TV. Dr. Know has went to the extreme of using his platform to contact other reality TV castmates directly to get the dirt on one of their cast members. Dr. Know is often told by reality stars to stick to his profession of dentistry. They often ask him, why must he defame someone character by speaking on people’s personal life. It was exposed that Dr. Know cut his hours in his professional business so that he would have time for his podcast. Instead of working eight to ten hours a day; he now only works four hours. And he doesn’t want to go a minute over four hours per day. Any patient sitting in his chair at the fourth hour has to reschedule to complete their dental work.

    Now that the new season of Dr. Know reality TV filming has started; the cast members want to have an intervention with him. They have planned to make a film of all his social media postings he did about their personal private life and play it for him as they express their hurt and disappointment in him. If this intervention doesn’t work; it’s a great possibly they might ghost him out of the group. Stay tune; we will see.

    https://bookofrelationship.com

  • Common Ground: New Generations versus Old

    Common Ground: New Generations versus Old

    Bridging the two together to find a common ground.

    Let’s talk about it…

    During the Traditionalist and Baby Boomers generations, sharing life wisdom with the next generation was a common formality that was honorable among the senior generation. The new generation would acquire the wisdom then build upon that knowledge to create a new innovated monument. The transformation bridge collapse between Generation X and its Millennials counterparts Generations Y and Z. For some reason, these last two generations (Y and Z) refuse to learn and grow upon the wisdom pass down from the previous generations. The Baby Boomers are clutching their pearls as they observe generations Y and Z navigate through life without partaking or utilizing wisdom pass down from the previous generations. Some of life areas that is greatly of concern to the senior generation are as follows:

    Child Birth: The wisdom of being sanitary in the care of new born children were passed on from the Baby Boomers to the next generation. The new Gens were taught to keep their newborn baby home for the first six-weeks of their lives until their immune system adapted to the environment, as well as, keeping the new born away from visitors in their home, in order to protect the baby from outside germs. However, this new generation takes their new born babies within the next day coming home from the hospital, around to show off their new babies. They allow their new born to be passed from the arms of one person to another breathing in viruses from people coughing, sneezing, and holding them with unclean hands. Also, they are allowing people to kiss their new born; smoke around their new born and play loud music without protecting the new born sensitive ears. There hasn’t been any scientific proof as to the negative effects from the change in sanitary values; however, the Baby Boomers are clutching their pearls.

    Another wisdom of being sanitary in the care of new born was taught in the type of baby bottles to purchase. How to clean the bottles, as well as, which detergent to purchase for cleaning baby’s clothes. The mature older generation believes using four to six ounces glass baby bottles in the first five to six months helps in warming the milk inside the bottle by sticking the glass bottle for a few minutes in hot water. Also, using glass bottles helps in cleaning the bottles by using a self-cleaning sterilizer for glass bottles only. The new Gens were advised to use plastic bottles only when the baby is old enough to hold its own bottle, as well as, to not use regular dishwashing detergent in cleaning the baby bottles and to not use regular washing detergent in washing the baby clothes. The new Gen were instructed to always wash the baby cloths separate from the household clothes. However, in order to save money and time, the new Gens refuse to buy the special laundry detergent for babies as well as a milder dishwashing solution for cleaning baby bottles. They also refuse to wash the baby clothes separate. Once again, the Baby Boomers are clutching their pearls.

    The new Gens orders food to be delivered to the hospital in honor of the baby. They don’t think about the food delivery person may not be allowed to go to the patient room due to them not being a family member or the patient might have limited visitation. New Gens do not take into consideration that the patient may not be in position to get out the hospital bed to travel on an elevator to the front desk lobby area for a food delivery order. They also don’t take into consideration that the patient might be on a special diet because their blood pressure might be elevated after giving birth. Once again, the Baby Boomer is clutching their pearls; although there hasn’t been any scientific proof as to a negative effect for not following the advice of the wise ones.

    Education: Education is very important to the mature generations. The mature generations would work hard their entire life to save for their children’s college fund. Even if the mature Gens were not educated beyond high school; they wanted to make sure their kids have an opportunity to attend college. Using wisdom, the mature Gens would advise the new Gens; why school is important, as well as, having a college degree. The new Gens would take their financial heritage to start college with a major they are not sure about, then they would change their major several times during the course of school causing their funds to be used without completing the degree requirements. The new Gens prefer to skip college for a training on the job position because they are unsure of what it is they want to do in life. They do not commit to any structure routine; like being on time, showing up every day to work rather you feel up to it or not. They do not care if anyone is available to cover their position in their absence. They always have; the” it’s an employer problem” attitude. They do not care if they get fire. Usually, they quit before they could get fire. The do not think about, I am a grown person who has financial responsibilities. They just wing it as they go. The mature generations come from the time period when permission had to be asked and approved before taking a day off work otherwise you could get fire. Also, the mature Gens had knowledge in manually balancing the financial books, writing and typing letters without spell check and auto correction, as well as, giving change back without the aid of an electronic machine telling them how many, pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and dollars to give. Without computers, the new Gens would be lost. Once again, the Baby Boomers are clutching their pearls.

    Privacy: The wisdom of privacy is taught to the new Gens. The mature Gens do not believe in sharing your personal information with friends; like their social security number, the amount of money you make; especially if you are hourly. All your family information; like your parents age, birth place, birthdates, how much money your parents make or have in the bank. Your parents’ educational levels; especially if they did not go to college, as well as, family secret recipes. The mature Gens do not like for their kids to have others in their house if they are not home. No one is ever allowed to go in their parents’ room without permission. The new Gen is care free, they keep no secrets from their friends. They do not comprehend the word privacy. They tell everything to their friends; all their business as well as their parents. Not only do they tell, they show and tell by showing documents that should be store in a safe for security purpose. There has been scientific proof that identity theft is on the rise; however, there is no scientific proof that it’s because of the new Gens opening their dam mouth too much sharing valid information that should remain private. Nevertheless, the mature Gens are clutching their pearls.

    Personal Property: The wisdom of protecting your personal property is taught to the new Gens. The mature Gens do not believe in allowing everyone within your friend circle to drive their car. Or go make a run in your car as the new Gens call it; especially when you are still making payments on the car and your insurance only covers the name of the person on the insurance policy. The new Gens do not grasp this concept or wisdom from the mature Gens until someone has an accident in their car and the insurance company refuse to pay because the person driving the car is not cover under their policy. Or, until someone who just wanted to make a run gets pulled over by the cops and an illegal substance is found in the car. Not only is the person making the run arrested; the car is impounded at the expense of the owner. If the owner cannot come up with the impound fees, the car is sold at an auction and the owner is still responsible to make the monthly payments to the creditor. Now the owner wish they would have listened to the wisdom of the mature Gens. Also, the mature gens shares wisdom in not lending expense tools especially if they are work tools, without a signed note from the borrow taking sole responsibility for the care of the tools; and if something should happen to the tools the borrow will replace the tools with like quality. The mature Gens advised the new Gens to take a picture of the borrower holding the tools and to place the picture and note in a secure place incase it’s need. On many of occasions the mature Gens watched the new Gens do exactly the opposite of the wisdom given to them regarding their personal property. When the new Gens come crying to the mature Gens for help; the mature Gens, clutch on their pearls as they sip on a glass of wine with nothing else to say other than lesson learned.   

    Credit: The wisdom of protecting your credit is taught to the new Gens. The mature Gens do not believe in co-signing for anyone other than their spouse. The new Gens do not see any harm in co-signing for someone who hands them a few hundred dollars up front to sign on the dotted line; until the borrower stop making the monthly payments and the creditor goes after the co-signer for the balance owe. The new Gens run to the mature Gens for help after telling the creditor, I did not purchase the item; I only co-signed. Nonetheless, the creditor sues the co-signer for their money and now the co-signer is stuck with a bill for product they do not own; and the borrower and the product are nowhere to be found. Also, the mature Gens do not believe in someone selling them a car by taking over the person monthly car payment after advancing the seller a few hundred dollars in cash up front in exchange for the pink slip once the car is paid in full. The mature Gens understand; the car cannot be placed in their name because it has a lender and money is still owed on the car; this means the insurance on the car has to be in the borrower’s name; therefore, to add the new Gen name as a second driver means paying a higher insurance premium. The mature Gen can clearly see, purchasing a car that has a lender on the title is a high-risk purchase that can cause the purchaser a lot of money. Nevertheless, the new Gens see it as a fast and easy way to purchase a car. However, when the new Gens come crying to the mature Gens for help; the mature Gens, clutch on their pearls as they sip on a glass of wine with nothing else to say other than lesson learned.  

    Morals and Values: The wisdom of treating others in the same manner as you want to be treated has been taught to the new Gens from the mature Gens. The mature Gens are constantly lecturing to the new Gens about having respect for elders by threating them in the same manner that you want someone to treat your parents and yourself. The mature Gens advices the new Gens to politely go around an elderly person who is walking slowing in front of them; do not bump into them, to push them aside with your shoulder because you are annoy with them slowing you down. Be patience when you have to stand in line behind an elderly person. It might take them a little longer for them to get their thoughts out or across to the person helping them at the counter. It’s not going to make them go faster because you are shouting offensive derogatory remarks at them. Nothing troubles the mature Gens worse than the new Gens being rude and disrespectful to elders.  The wised mature Gens know and try to convey to the new Gens; that you are boxing with God when you attack an elderly person.  Because the bible declares in Galatians 6:7; Be not deceived; God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. The mature Gens let the new Gens know; if you say, you don’t believe in what the bible states; it doesn’t take away from the truth of God’s word; because his word is a living word and as you keep living you will see the truth of his word. The mature Gens encourage the new Gens to do as declared in James 1:5; If any of you lack in wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally. Also, the mature Gens express to the new Gens; I understand at times you get frustrated with us mature Gens speaking wisdom to you, new Gens because you all feel you know everything there is to know. Yet, you seek the mature Gens help when you are in trouble. Just know that the mature Gens are obeying the word of God as stated in Colossians 4:5; Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Us mature Gens are tire of having to clutch our pearls because you, new Gens rejects the wisdom of us trail blazers and therefore have to learn through catastrophic unfortunate circumstances caused by your lack in wisdom.

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  • Faith, Why Do I Wavier?

    Faith, Why Do I Wavier?

    Why do I wavier in faith when it comes to believing for self?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Cindy is excited about meeting with her spiritual mother for lunch. Cindy never knew her birth mother. She was adopted when she was ten years old. Cindy loves and respects her adopted mother, Janice. Janice is not a religious or spiritual person. She believes in God but doesn’t read her bible or pray. While in foster care, Cindy’s social worker became like a mother figure to her.  Cindy was placed in three foster homes before being placed with Janice. In order to help Cindy cope with life as a foster child, her social worker Dorothy would read bible stories to her during their visit together. Sometimes, Dorothy would talk to Cindy about God and his love for her. She wanted Cindy to know that although she left without family and placed into foster homes, she was not ever alone, because God was always with her. Dorothy was happy when Cindy was adopted by Janice and her husband. Janice could see that Cindy had a special bond with Dorothy. Janice encourages the relationship because she knew it meant a lot to Cindy. Also, Janice felt secure in knowing that she had someone who knows and understands Cindy and is willing to assist in any capacity of her life.

    At the age of eighteen, Cindy decided she wanted to start attending church but was not sure what type of church based on religious denomination or doctrine. Each week, Cindy would go to a different church to see if she could find one that she felt comfortable in attending on a weekly basis. After several weeks of attending many different churches, she finds a non-denomination church whose doctrine is faith-based Christianity. Cindy was very excited about her new church. She invited Dorothy to attend with her one Sunday. Dorothy enjoyed the service as much as Cindy did. Dorothy would often attend with Cindy. Out of respect for her adopted mother Janice, Cindy understood her declining an invite to attend church; therefore, she did not pressure her to attend. After completing the new members classes, Cindy was encouraged by the instructor to attend the Adult Sunday school so that she could learn about praying. Cindy had informed the instructor on the last day of class that she did not know how to pray or when to pray.

    In Adult Sunday school, Cindy learns that prayer is one form of Communion with God. It’s having an intimate fellowship or rapport through communication with God. Cindy learns that prayer can be done as an individual in private; or, it can be done publicly with a group. She also learns the different types of prayers, which are; Adoration, Confession, Supplication, Intercession, and Thanksgiving. Cindy was elated that the instructor gave examples of each. The instructor informs her that in Daniel 4:34, King Nebuchandnezzar blessed God with a prayer of Adoration for God’s mercy in blessing him (King Nebuchandnezzar) in returning to his right mind. Also, the bible shows in 1 John1:9; if we confess (pray) our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. In 1 Timothy 2:1-3; the Apostle Paul declares to Timothy, “I exhort therefore, that, first of all Supplications, Prayers, Intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men. For Kings and for all that are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior.  James 5:15; teaches the intercession prayer of faith shall save the sick. Philippians 4:6; teaches “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Now that Cindy has full understanding of the types of prayers, she was taught how to pray. The instructor informed Cindy to not pray with iniquity in her heart; because as stated in Psalm 66:18; the Lord will not hear her. However, if she prays with purity of heart; God will attend to the voice of her prayer as stated in Psalm 66:19. Also, she was instructed to believe in her heart as stated in Matthew 21:22; “And all things, whatsoever you shall ask in prayer, believing you shall receive.” Cindy learns that prayer has to be done in Jesus Christ name, as declared by Christ in John 14:13; “And whatsoever you shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” Lastly, Cindy learns that if she asks anything according to God’s will; he will hear as stated in 1 John 5:14. The next morning, Cindy took what she had learned about praying and decided to pray her first prayer. Cindy was told that she can pray either Standing with her Hands uplifted towards heaven, Kneeling, Sitting, or Bowing. Cindy was filled with Adoration so she decided to kneel. She took three deep breathes as she collects her thoughts; feeling relaxed she begin to pray.

    Heavenly Father, thank you for waking me up this morning in sound and sane mind after enduring horrific moments as a foster child. Thank you for sending people into my life to teach and show me love and guide me with wisdom. Father God, I ask in the name of your Son and my Savior Jesus Christ that you forgive me for my known and unknown sins. I pray that my adopted mother Janice trouble heart be healed so that her heart is open to seeing your glory and trusting in your love in hope that one day she may be saved. Father, lead me not into temptation; deliver me from all evil; as I grow in your word let your will be done on earth in my life as it is in heaven. For the power and the glory is yours now and forever. Amen

    Cindy could see the growth in herself the more she attended church and read the bible. She would pray daily. Cindy joined the Intercessory prayer group at church. She loved how God use her to help others through prayer. Being an intercessor, Cindy witnesses the power of prayer. She witnesses people being cure from incurable illness. She witnesses money coming from unexpected places to save people from evictions and hunger. Cindy feels she is living a blessed fulfilled life; however, at the age of twenty-two, she wants to experience having intimate love; a boyfriend with the purpose of one day getting marry. After having a little more freedom, at the age of eighteen to current, Guys would approach Cindy but she would deter them by not engaging in long conversations or showing any interest in getting to know them better. Cindy has never had a boyfriend or any close girlfriends she can ask personal questions about dating. She decided to ask Dorothy for suggestions on what to do. Dorothy tells Cindy that intimacy is a natural feeling that will guide her as she experiences it. However, she advised Cindy to pray for the type of mate she wants and for the wisdom to discern when someone is in her life for the right reasons or just to fool around with her emotions then leave. Dorothy suggested that Cindy write down what she is looking for in a mate; so that she can be pacific in her prayer. Following Dorothy’s advice; Cindy writes a letter to God.

    Dear God, thank you for hearing and answering all the intercessory prayers I made on behalf of others; and thank you for your unconditional love that has protect me, feed me, healed me, and clothed me. God in the name of Jesus Christ, please allow someone special, who is looking for a wife to come into my life. I would love for this person to have the following characteristic traits. Someone who has a relationship with you or is building upon their relationship with you. Someone who is gentle in demeanor towards ladies; yet strong as a man in standards. Someone who is a provider; a protector; considerate; uplifting. Someone who makes me laugh and is fun to be with. Oh yeah God, please allow him to be at least five feet ten inches or taller. God, thank you for hearing and answering my prayer.”

    On Cindy’s twenty-third birthday, she did not want to celebrate. She rejected Dorothy as well as many people from the church offer to celebrate her birthday. Cindy is not responding to anyone calls because she is feeling depressed about not having her prayer answer after nearly a year of praying. Dorothy made an unannounced visit to Cindy’s home after her birthday passes without anyone hearing from her. Although it was in the middle of the day, Cindy was in bed with her pajamas on and her hair tired up. Dorothy had to ring the doorbell several times as well as bang on the door with her fist. Cindy finally opens the door after hearing Dorothy shouts; she is going to have the police do a welfare check on her if she doesn’t open the door. Cindy abruptly opens the door with a frown on her face. Dorothy pushes her way in Cindy’s house without saying a word. After having a seat on the couch, she asks Cindy what is going on. Why are you hiding out in your home and not talking to anyone in your friend circle? I thought your birthday would be an elated eventful day for you. You normally look forward to celebrating the happy occasion. Cindy stares at Dorothy with tears in her eyes. “Why Dorothy, why?” “Why what asked Dorothy.” “Why haven’t God answer my prayer for a mate? I have been part of the intercessory prayer group at the church for years. You know, I am always on my kneels praying for others or standing at the church altar praying with parishioners. I have watch God perform miracles in people lives because of prayers on their behalf. Yet, he has not answered my personal prayer. What have I done wrong?”  “Cindy, you haven’t done anything wrong in the formation of prayer. After taking classes on praying, you have master how to pray. The only difference I see is when it comes to praying for others you have an unwavering faith that is must larger than mustard seed faith. However, when it comes to praying for yourself, you go through the formation of prayer but your heart is lacking faith. You know God is capable of giving you what you want. You just don’t believe he will give it to you. Something inside your heart is blocking you from believing in the same manner as you believe for others. Let’s talk about this.” “You are correct in your observation Dorothy. I often think about my childhood and wonder why I was left at the hospital by my birth mother. I think about the three abusive foster homes I lived in before being moved to my adopted mother home. I think about not having any friends as I was a child. As a child you would often tell me that God loves me and that although I was left without family and placed into foster homes, I was not ever alone, because God was always with me. It’s difficult for me to see that God was always with me when I went through so many horrific things especially when I did nothing wrong to desire those things that happen to me. These thoughts make it difficult for me to believe God will answer my prayer about something that will bring me joy. How do I get these thoughts out my head so that I can believe in the same manner that I believe for others?”

    “Cindy, you need to go back to the begin of the bible in the book of Genesis. Reading the book of Genesis would help you to understand that it was not God’s will for any of us to experience evil or bad things. But, because of disobedient, man was exposed to the knowledge of evil. Having being exposed to the knowledge of evil, gave man a choice to choose evil or good. Sin entering into the world is due to man’s choice of choosing evil over good. God did not create us to be puppets on a string. He gave us free will in our thoughts and decision making. Because sin separates us from God who is without sin and is good and only good. We have to atone for our sins in order to be in the presence of a good God. Genesis teaches us that by one man; the first man Adam; everyone is born in sin; therefore, in order to be in the presence of good we must all atone for sin by one man Christ. Believing in Jesus Christ is how we atone for sin. Faith is believing. Therefore, we must understand that bad things that happen in our life is because of people who made bad decisions in choosing evil over good. God’s love for us helps us to survive through horrific events in our life. No one born in sin is exempt from experiencing bad things happening in life. Our relationship through faith in Christ is what’s going to help us navigate in life with victory over evil. You have to believe that God loves you, in spite of any horrific experiences you may have experience in life. You have to believe that the good, God created in Genesis before sin enter into the world is what he wants for you. Once you get this concept into your heart, you will not be held in bondage by your past circumstances; thinking that God doesn’t love you or is not with you because you have experienced some horrific moments in life. Knowing that God loves you and wants the best for you will help in having faith in your heart. I encourage you to go back on your knees and pray with faith in your heart.”

    Cindy was grateful for her godmother’s wisdom. After having the conversation with her godmother, Cindy felt like a heavy weight was lifted off her spirit. Following the advice of her godmother, Cindy’s heart was open and filled with faith when she re-prayed about a mate. Six months after praying, Cindy met her husband, Daniel. Two years after meeting Daniel, Cindy and Daniel consummated their relationship in marriage.  

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  • Let’s Straighten it Out

    Let’s Straighten it Out

    You broke the boy code now you need to Holla at your boy.

    Let’s talk about it…

    Dwight and Gerald have been friends since their freshman year in high school. Both played high school sports. Dwight acquired a love for baseball from his father Ben. Ben once dreamed of playing professional baseball. However, Ben’s dreams were shatter when Dwight’s grandfather became ill. As the oldest child, Ben had to drop out of high school to work odd jobs to support his parents and siblings. Ben was working in the automotive industry when he married Dwight’s mother. Dwight and his father frequently attend the White Sox baseball games in their hometown, Chicago. During Dwight’s high school years, Ben influences him to play baseball in hope of his son becoming a professional baseball player. Dwight love baseball; however, he did not love it as a career choice. He did not want to become a professional athlete.

    In high school, Dwight’s friend Gerald was appointed captain of the basketball team. Gerald and his coach observed Dwight’s skills on the field during baseball season. They felt he would be a great asset as a basketball player because of his height, his upper body strength on hitting the ball out of the park and his speed in running. Gerald and his coach tried to recruit Dwight. Although Dwight declined the offer, him and Gerald remained friends. Both were lead players in their field. Throughout school, the girls would chase after them. On several occasions they found themselves romantically involved with the same girls. They decided to come up with a boy code in dating girls within their circle. They created a dating chart similar to a family tree. Dwight name was on the left side of the chart and beneath his name were three color categories. A Girl name listed in the red category means the relationship is currently or once was serious and therefore is off limit to Gerald dating. A Girl name listed in the yellow category means the relationship was romantically fun but not serious. It’s okay if Gerald chooses to date a girl listed in the yellow category. A Girl name listed in green category means it is a talking only relationship with the potential to becoming something more. Gerald is not allowed to talk to a girl in the green category under Dwight’s name because the relationship can potentially become a red category. Gerald name was on the right side of the chart with the same three-color categories beneath his name; having the same meaning as on Dwight’s side of the chart. Throughout high school the dating chart worked well for them both.

    As the two friends were approaching graduation; they vowed to remain friends and continued to follow the rules of the dating chart they created. Gerald was drafted to play professional basketball. Because of Dwight’s fascination with computers and its infrastructure he enrolled into a trade tech college to study Information Technology (I.T.). During the first week of attending college, Dwight was amazed to see the same five female students enrolled in many of his courses. He assumed that Information Technology was a predominant trade for men only. What would make a woman select this trade, thought Dwight. Anyhow, it’s good to have someone other than men to look at during class. Dwight was very impress with his classmate Stephanie. She was a very active student who engage in answering the instructor questions and also asking many questions for clarity purposes. Also, he was very impress with her knowledge and ability to retain what she was learning. Dwight decided he wanted to get to know Stephanie on a personal basis. He was attracted to her beauty and to her intelligence. She would be a good person to study with thought Dwight. One day, after attending the last class of the day with Stephanie, Dwight decides to approach her: “Excuse me, your name is Stephanie; correct?” Yes, that is correct; states Stephanie with a smile on her face. She thought Dwight’s approach was cute. “I noticed you and I have several classes together; therefore, I am wondering if you are looking for a study partner or someone in class who is willing to share notes you missed in your absence.” Stephanie paused for a brief moment before speaking. “Well, I’m not looking for a study partner, I do pretty well on my own; however, it would be good to have someone to share notes in case one of us is absence. Would you like to exchange email address for the purpose of sharing notes, asked Stephanie?” Sure, that would be great states Dwight. After exchanging email addresses, Stephanie thought for a quick minute then tells Dwight; if you feel having a study partner would bring clarity to certain topics discussed in class, I would be happy to go over the class lecture notes with you.” Dwight was happy to hear Stephanie except his offer. Although she did not agree to a study routine; at least she agreed to discuss complicated topics with him. “Sound good, states Dwight.

    Two weeks after Dwight and Stephanie agree to discuss complicated topics together, Dwight emailed Stephanie, on a Wednesday, asking if they can meet at the library on Saturday to discuss the network infrastructure. He needed clarity on routers, switches, hubs, repeaters, gateways, bridges, and modems hardware. In taking notes, he believed he crisscross the information provided by the teacher when describing the functions of each hardware. Stephanie agreed to meet with Dwight at one pm. Both were impressed with each other promptness. Dwight brought his A game; he came to work. The two were very engaged as they seriously focus their discussions on the infrastructure topic. They were able to learn from each other. Stephanie was impressed with Dwight knowledge and understanding of the material. She feels Dwight is a person who second guess himself, causing him to question what he knows. Studying with him gave her a new prospective as to who he is as a person. She was happy she accepted his offer to study together. They both couldn’t believe five hours had passed so swiftly. Dwight offers to buy Stephanie dinner. He lets her know that he is not trying to come between her and any significant other she might have in her life; therefore, he offers to pay for takeout or have Uber eats deliver food to her home or take her to a restaurant of her choice. Stephanie giggle; she felt Dwight was being considerate and polite in the way he worded buying her dinner. She tells him; it’s okay, we can go have dinner together; she states, any restaurant is good with me. Stephanie’s giggle caused Dwight to giggle. Dwight chose a restaurant near the library that specialized in Seafood, Chicken, and Steak. Stephanie left her car at the library. She felt it would be safe because the library stays open 24 hours on Wednesday through Saturdays. She rode with Dwight to the restaurant. The first thing Stephanie notice was that Dwight was a gentleman. He opens doors for her, made sure she was secured in her seatbelt before driving off, and he pulled out her chair at the restaurant for her to sit. In addition to enjoying the delicious food, they enjoyed each other company. They talked for hours, leaving the restaurant at 10:30pm. As Dwight drives Stephanie back to the library to get her car, he asked if they could do this again in the near future. Stephanie replied with yes. Dwight asked Stephanie if she would like for him to follow her home to make sure she was safe. Stephanie stated that she only lived fifteen minutes from the library. She promised to text him once she was secured in her home. Stephanie and Dwight became very close; studying together and going out to dinner together. The relationship remained platonic for the entire school year. Once finals were over and they both received passing grades, the relationship became intimate after a night of celebrating.

    At the start of summer break, Gerald returned home for a visit to spend time with family and friends before basketball training begin for the next season. His parents rent a hall and throw him an extravagant party. Approximately three hundred people received an invited with a plus one. Because Gerald was well known as one of the lead players on his basketball team, his parents made sure the venue was well secured with security. Each person who RSVP with their plus one, name and picture was entered into a database. The database was used at the venue entrance to match name and picture ID of each person attending before entering the venue. Stephanie attends as Dwight’s plus one. She loves basketball and was excited about meeting her favorite team rookie player Gerald. She was surprised that Dwight had not told her that he is friends with a star basketball player before inviting her as his plus one. Gerald and Dwight were happy to see each other. They embraced in a man’s hug for a few seconds. Stephanie could see based on their greeting they were best of friends. She was shaking in her shoes when Dwight introduced her to Gerald. She kept grinning and expressing that she was a big fan of his. Dwight being one of Gerald’s closes friends was assigned to sit at his family table with Stephanie. Gerald was mesmerized by Stephanie beauty. He asked his friend to take a walk with him. Dwight asked Stephanie if she would be okay alone for a few minutes while he walk with Gerald to the other side of the room. Stephanie replied yes, I would be fine. She watched the two friends walk away and wonder what that was all about. Gerald complimented Dwight on his grown man taste in women. He tells Dwight, she is nothing like what we use to date in high school. No, she isn’t replied, Dwight. So, tell me, states Gerald; how serious are you two according to our high school dating chart. Man, she is a red in my book, state Dwight. Although I haven’t asked her to be my exclusive girlfriend, it has been her and I and no one else for nearly a year. Red tells me you two are sexually intimate replied, Gerald. Yeah man, we are, Dwight states with a grin on his face. Dwight asks Gerald was he dating anyone. Naw man, it’s too soon in the game for me to be seriously dating. The women are lined up for ball players. When I am finish playing the field, I will find someone special to settle down with. In the meantime; game on. Both begin to laugh at Gerald’s statement. Well man, states Gerald it’s good seeing you. I hope you don’t mind me asking your girl to dance. I would like to get to know who my friend is smitten over. No harm in dancing states Dwight. Both heads back to the table. After dinner was serve and eaten everyone being to enjoy dessert with drinks and dancing. Gerald comes around the table and asks Stephanie to dance. Stephanie looks at Dwight for approval. Dwight knobs his head. They both dance to a fast song. As they were walking off the dance floor, a slow song is played. Gerald re-grabs Stephanie by the hand then leads her back to the dance floor. Dwight notice that Gerald is doing a lot of talking in Stephanie ear as they slow dance. Dwight was happy when the song end. As the party was coming to an end. Dwight asked Stephanie if she was ready to go. At this point approximately seventy-five people was left at the venue and appeared to be collecting their things to leave. Stephanie stated she was ready to leave. Dwight excused himself to go to the men’s room before the long ride home. Stephanie had just come back from the women’s room and expressed to Dwight that she will be sitting right there waiting for him. Gerald sees his opening as Dwight walks away. He goes over to Stephanie and tells her that he wants to plan a surprise birthday party for his friend in the next two months. He stated that he would need help in planning the surprised. He asked her if she could assist in bringing him to the surprise party.  Stephanie agrees to assist. Gerald and Stephanie exchanged phone numbers before Dwight returned from the bathroom.

    Gerald started calling Stephanie on a daily basis talking to her about the party as well as personal topics. Stephanie was so excited about talking to a star basketball player like they were old friends, she wanted to shout it to the world. But she couldn’t in fear of Dwight finding out. She knew it would ruin the surprise if he found out. Stephanie felt the only person who would keep a secret would be her best friend, Tracy. Stephanie and Tracy meet every Thursday at 4:00pm for a game of tennis. Afterwards they usually go to the local café for dinner. During dinner, Stephanie tells Tracy about meeting Dwight’s best friend Gerald. She explains to Tracy about Gerald needing her help in planning a surprise party for Dwight. She also tells Tracy about her and Gerald’s conversations. Tracy tells Stephanie to be careful with Gerald, because she believes he likes her or simply wants to sleep with her. Why would you say that states Stephanie? The fact that you have to ask me why I would say that, leads me to believe he already has your attention. No man should be talking to his best friend girlfriend about the personal things you two talk about. It’s clearly a setup. Stephanie, wish she had never said anything to Tracy. She felt Tracy was hating because a star basketball player was talking to her.

    Two days after having dinner with Tracy, Stephanie receives a call from Gerald. He asked Stephanie if he could store some gifts for Dwight at her home. Gerald claims he did not feel comfortable with having expensive gifts in his room at the hotel. Stephanie thought it sound strange. She asked Gerald why he wasn’t staying at his parents’ home. Gerald stated that he did not want to draw attention to his parents’ home. Therefore, he decided to stay in a suite at a five-star hotel. Stephanie felt relax with his explanation. As Stephanie was giving her address to Gerald, he interrupted her by saying; “no wait, I don’t want to take a chance in running into Dwight at your place. Can you come to the hotel around 7:00pm today? Stephanie thought to herself, I guess it would be okay. It’s a public place. Okay, replied Stephanie. I will see you at 7:00pm. Five minutes after Stephanie arrives at Gerald’s suite, room service knocks on the door. Gerald tells Stephanie that he took the liberty of ordering dinner for them both. He states, it’s the least he can do for her coming to pick up Dwight’s gifts. Stephanie could see two small gift-wrapped boxes sitting on the table. She thought to herself, what could be in those boxes, they are so small. Her thoughts were interrupted by Gerald asking her would she have dinner with him. Sure, states Stephanie, I’m here so I might as well join you for dinner. Gerald pours Stephanie a spritzer to drink with her dinner. Gerald had ordered lobster tails, sauteed shrimp with asparagus and baby red potatoes. After dinner, Gerald poured Stephanie another spritzer. Stephanie begins to feel a little woozy. She couldn’t understand why two drinks would cause her to feel so woozy. Stephanie declined a third drink. She thought if she sits for a few minutes, she would be okay to drive. She remembers Gerald putting on music. The remaining time she was in Gerald’s suite was like a dream. She remembers brief moments of her being in bed with him; also, taking a shower. She woke up on Gerald’s couch five hours after she had arrived. She was fully clothed. Gerald comes out his bedroom wearing a robe. Hey sleepy head, you finally woke up. Are you okay? Stephanie looks at Gerald strangely, before replying; what happen? What do you mean what happen replied Gerald? You fell asleep. Do you need me to call you an Uber or are you okay to drive? Stephanie tells Gerald that she was okay to drive.

    The next day, Stephanie calls her friend Tracy to tell her about what happen. Tracy pushes Stephanie to tell Dwight. Stephanie was scared to tell Dwight but decided it was best he hears it from her. Dwight comfort Stephanie the best way he could. He kept telling her that it was not her fault. Dwight opens the gifts Stephanie had bought back from Gerald. Just as he figures, inside was empty boxes filled with paper. Dwight went to the hotel to confront Gerald. Upon arrival, he finds out Gerald had checked out. Dwight rushed over to Gerald’s parents’ house. Gerald was leaving his parent’s house with two body guards by his side. When Dwight tried to run up on Gerald, the body guards held him back. Dwight begins to yell at Gerald, shouting why man why. Why would you do that to my girl when you have women chasing after you because of who you are as a player. Why do this to me and my girl? Gerald looked his friend in the eyes then tell him; “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” Dwight was hurt; however, he knew he had to support Stephanie in any way he could.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU

  • If Loving You is Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right.

    If Loving You is Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right.

    What does one do, when the heart wants what it wants?

    Let’s talk about it…

    Please leave in peace! Shouts John, after he finish telling his wife of less than a year that he loves another woman. John and his wife Rita met when both were in their late twenties on the set of a Broadway production play. John was a producer and Rita worked with wardrobe and makeup. John was attracted to Rita’s figure. She has what John called an hourglass shape. John would call Rita “brick house” because her measurements were exactly the same as the women described in the song Brick house. Each time John called her brick house, he would laugh then shake his head while singing 36-24-36 what a winning hand. He would grab Rita around her waist, pull her into his chest; kiss her on the lips as he declares, you got what it takes to get this man; don’t ever lose your winning hand. Rita would giggle every time. It made her feel loved and wanted. She never gave thought to what John was actually saying. Many of the women on set would joke with Rita about the brick house statement John would make regarding never losing her winning hand. Each time one of the women on set would observe Rita eating junk food; they would joke, “your brick house will soon become a sinking sandcastle if you continued to eat that junk food.” Rita would laugh it off with a reply “don’t be a hater.” Rita delighted in the fact that she had the attention of her man and the jealous women on the set. She did not feel threaten by the other women remarks. Rita knew, her small frame shapely figure was in her DNA. She took after her mother, grandmother and all her aunts. Rita would intentionally eat junk food in front of the women to get a reaction from them. All the women in the play were on a special diet. They had to make sure their weight did not change in order to fit into the wardrobe.

    The play moved around within the same state for several months. It was time to take it on the road in other states. Rita was excited about traveling from state to state with the play. One month before the play was scheduled to travel to the next state, Rita became ill and had to be rushed to the emergency room. John and Rita’s families were relieved to hear she would be okay after a couple of days in the hospital getting some fluid in her system with the help of IV. Rita was diagnosed with dehydration. The doctor informed Rita that she needs to eat healthier foods for the sake of the child she was carrying. “What” shouts Rita and John at the same time. The doctor looked at them both with amazement. I am assuming you do not know that you are pregnant, states the doctor. No, I did not know Rita replied. The doctor asked Rita when the last time she saw her primary doctor and when was her last menstruation. Rita said she did not know to both questions. She informed the doctor that she had been so busy with the play that she did not realize she didn’t have a menstruation period. John asked the doctor how many weeks or months was Rita. I take it you are the father the doctor replied. John looked at Rita to answer the doctor question. Rita became anger with John reaction. Of course, you are the father shouts Rita. The doctor informed them both that Rita was three months pregnant. John asked the doctor would Rita be able to travel for work. The doctor advises Rita to see her primary doctor right away; however, he does not feel it would be good for her to travel at this time. He stated because of her poor diet, her blood pressure is elevated, and her heart rhythm is slightly irregular, which could be a result of consuming too many caffeinated drinks. Rita was devastated. She did not trust John to be on the road without her.  After Rita’s primary doctor confirmed the recommendations made by the emergency room physician; she expressed to John her fear of losing him as he travels without her. John was worried and concern about his child Rita was carrying. In order to keep her stressed free for the sake of the baby, John married Rita at the courthouse one week before he left town with the play.

    John was on the road traveling with the play six months without any physical contact with Rita. He would call her a few times each week to check on her pregnancy. Rita understood John’s job requires him to be on the road for months. However, she also knew that they have a three-to-five-day break between each city performance. She did not understand why John did not fly home for a day or two to check on her and their unborn baby. When John finally came home, after the play had ended, he went straight to his condo to sleep. Rita did not hear from him for two days. When he came over to her place, he did not act like she was his wife who would be giving birth to their child any day. He talked to her like she was a co-worker about how the play went well. Rita asked John about them living together as husband and wife. John expressed that he wasn’t ready for them to change from their current living arrangements. Why did you marry me shouts Rita? Because you are carrying my child states John. The conversation with John caused Rita stomach to cramp. John told Rita she has to calm down for the sake of the baby. At that moment Rita’s water broke and she was in labor. John rushed Rita to the hospital; ten hours later their son was born. John was so excited about having a son; he always wanted a junior. John purchased a three bedroom; 2 1/2 baths, house for Rita and his son. He moved some of his clothes into their new home; however, he kept his condo. Three months after giving birth to their son, John informed Rita that another play will start its tour in two weeks. Although John spent the majority of his time at his condo, Rita enjoyed having John at home with her and their son; but she understood he had to go back to work.

    During John Junior nap time, Rita would search on social media to see what is going on in the world. She felt absence from the world for nearly a year. Pictures of John with the same lady begin to surface. Rita thought this must be someone who has a role in the new play. As she continued to search, she notices this same woman was in pictures with John during the last play prior to this new one. Rita was able to find a playbill online to see who was starting in the new play. She sees two women names who worked with her and John. Not sure who would reply back to her, Rita sent both ladies a text to say hello and ask how the play was going. Two days after her text, Rita receives a phone call. Looking at the caller ID, Rita thought to herself; of course, the person who joke the most about my figure turning from a brick house to a sandcastle is the one who calls me. Anyway, thought Rita, here goes. “Hello Sandy, how are you; asked Rita.” Hi Rita, I was surprise to receive a text from you. You just ghost us without any word on what was going on with you. “I’m sorry about that states Rita.” Well, John told everyone you wouldn’t be back because you became ill from dehydration and during the examination other illness was discover due to you eating all that junk food. Girl, I always told you that brick house figure of yours was going to become a sinking sand castle due to all that junk food you use to eat. Anyhow, how are you feeling now? “I’m doing well; thank you for asking. Sandy, I notice a new actress joined the last play and I see pictures of her with the crew in this new play. She is approximately five feet five inches; small frame with natural curly golden-brown hair.” Girl, that’s no new actress. That’s John new girlfriend. He did not waste any time finding a new girlfriend after you two broke up. “So, he told you all that him and I broke up.” Yeah, he said after you found out you were ill, you ended the relationship so that you can focus on your health. I was like, good for you. Girl, within a week, Ms. Sally come waltzing on set acting like she owns the place. “Oh, is that her name asked Rita.” Naw girl, that’s what I call her. You know, I got a nickname for everyone. I think her name is Jessica. I can tell he loves this one. Well, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings by saying he did not love you. But it’s something special about this one. He is definitely different around this one. I like who he is around Ms. Sally. I can always tell when a man is in love. And he is smitten with this one. Look girl, I need to get off this phone, I promise one of the ladies I would help her read lines tonight. She has to keep making up words because she can’t remember her lines for nothing. She throws us off with those made-up lines. I must say, her made up lines sounds better than the actual lines; nonetheless, she throwing everyone off trying to figure out what comes next after her made-up lines. So, girl, it was good talking to you. “It was good talking to you also Sandy” After Rita end her call with Sandy, she begins to cry. She thought John loved her. She thought about all the times she would call the ladies “haters” because she believed they were jealous of her and John’s love.

    Rita decided to google the name Jessica using John’s zip code at his condo as a secondary search filter. The name Jessica Boyd came up with the same address as John’s condo. Rita text Sandy asking when do the current play takes its next break? Sandy text back stating in two weeks they would get a one-month break before traveling to the next state. Rita made plans for her mother to babysit John Jr. She searches through John’s things at the house. In the back of his sock drawer, she found a key box. Inside the key box was a key with the word spare on its tag. She was hoping the key was to his condo. Rita went to the condo. She asked herself, why she never thought to ask John to invite her over. He always came to her place when they dated. Rita was surprised to see how huge and beautiful John’s condo was. It had a large kitchen with an island; a laundry room; a dining room; a large living room; two large bedrooms; two large full bath rooms and a loft above the dining room that was used as an office. The condo had more female clothes; jewelry and personal items then male clothes and personal items. She did recognize the clothes hanging in the closet belonged to John. She also noticed the female clothes were all expensive name brand. She could tell that someone was there before she arrived because of the wet towel laying across the hamper. Rita decided she wouldn’t say anything to John. In two weeks, she would make a surprise visit to the condo; this time in the middle of the night. A week after going to John’s condo, he called home telling Rita the play only has a one-week break before the next show starts in the next city and he was needed in that city to finalize the paperwork before the play. Therefore, he will not be coming home for a break. Rita simply replied with “okay, I understand.” Five days after talking to John, Rita had her mom keep John junior overnight. She got up from bed at one in the morning. She brushes her hair back into a ponytail then threw on some sweats and sneakers. She grabs the key John keep in his sock drawer. This time the front entrance door was locked at the high raised building. She pushed a button to talk with the front desk about losing her front door keep when a couple walked up after stepping out an Uber. They overheard her telling the attendant she has her key to her condo but lost the front door key. The couple who walked up shouts through the intercom; it’s okay Jeffrey, we see the lady speaking to you has one of our keys. We can let her in with us. Jeffrey sound sleepy and was grateful someone else was able to help out. Rita thanks the couple. She exists the elevator on the eighth floor as the couple travel to the twelfth floor. Rita unlocked the front door with ease. She walks to the first bedroom where the door was half way open. Both John and Jessica were lying in bed sleep. She stared at them for a brief moment. She takes out her cell phone from her pocket then proceeded to call John’s phone. He reached over with his eyes closed as he picks up the phone, looks at the number then hit the red button to end the call. Just as he was putting the phone back down, Rita hit redial. John kept clicking the red button. Without turning over in bed, Jessica asked who is that calling. No one replied John, go back to sleep. Rita hits redial two more times when suddenly Jessica sits up in bed and as she turns to look at John, she sees Rita standing at the door. She begins to screams. John jumps out of bed to see why Jessica was screaming, he turns on the lamp light to see his wife Rita standing at the door. Hi John shouts Rita. What the F is going on shouts Jessica. Who is this person in our home? I should be asking you that question shouts Rita. You are the one in bed with my husband. Your husband; what the hell is this lady talking about John? John was speechless. He couldn’t believe Rita was standing in his condo. Rita continued to talk to Jessica. So, Jessica, you are telling me that you don’t know that you are sleeping with a marry man and the father of our son John Junior. Wait, shouts Jessica. How do you know my name? How do you not know the man you are sleeping with is marry shouts Rita? Jessica looks at John with tears in her eyes. She tells him, I really need you to break your silent stare and talk to me. What is going on John, asked Jessica? Yeah John, shouts Rita; tell Jessica what is going on.

    John looks Jessica in her eyes; he gently wipes the tears off her cheeks with his fingers before grabbing a tissue. He tells her; baby, I am so sorry I never told you, I found out my ex-girlfriend was pregnant the same week I was planning to tell her our relationship was over because I had met you. I know this might sound crazy but if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right. If being right means losing, you; I rather be wrong but feeling right. The only reason I marry Rita is because her pregnancy was at-risk due to health complications. I did not want to lose my child because I upset his mother. Rita became very upset and fearful of me not being with her when she couldn’t travel with the play. I married her one week before my flight was to leave for the play. I was under a lot of pressure and did not know what to do. I felt the life of the child was most important. This is the only reason I married her. We haven’t been together as husband and wife in an intimate way. I bought her a house hoping that would help ease the pain of me telling her that I do not love her, but I love my child with all my heart. I was hoping she would see how this marriage was forced on me. I was hoping she would see we were only together because of us working together. I had to be very careful in how I end the relationship because we worked together. I did not want it to affect our work environment because we still had a job to do. John turns to look at Rita. Rita, you know this is not a marriage we have. We are not sexually active with each other. I believe you know in your heart this is not a marriage made in heaven. This is an arrangement because of my son. Please do not withhold my son from me. I bought you a house. I will make sure I pay child support. But I can no longer pretend to be a husband to you. We have been married less than a year. I will file for an annulment. Please leave in peace! Shouts John, after he finish telling his wife of less than a year that he loves another woman. Rita was heartbroken; but she couldn’t deny what John spoke was truth. She threw his key on the bed before turning and walking out his condo with tears in her eyes.

    https://a.co/d/0ZmyVKU